Noah: The Super-duper Abridged Script

Nobody has time to see a two hour film these days; add up the time spent travelling, waiting in annoying queues and sitting through thirty dastardly minutes of adverts and trailers and that’s your whole Sunday! That’s why every week I’ll bring you a condensed version of a recent cinema or DVD release. It’s like the Cliff Notes of cinemagoing!

This week I abbreviate: Noah. Brace yourself for juvenile language and spoilers galore!

EXT. OUTSIDE - RAINY SEASON

THREE TEENAGERS try to get laid whilst their dad, EVAN BAXTER builds A BOAT to spend 
his retirement on the seas with his WIFE AND PETS. Elsewhere ANTHONY HOPKINS looks 
for some tasty berries.

DARREN ARONOVSKY

We done? You cool?

RUSSELL CROWE

Yup.

CGI

Yup.

STUDIO EXECS

Yup.

THE END... OR, THE BEGINNING

@sjbowron