Sundance 2025 Review: The Dating Game – “A lot of different aspects to the documentary.”
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A still from The Dating Game by Violet Du Feng, an official selection of the 2025 Sundance Film Festival. Courtesy of Sundance Institute | photo by Wei Gao
In 2015, China ended their law restricting families to have only one baby, a policy that had been in place since 1979 in order to try and help curtail population concerns. However, in the wake of that policy the country has been left with another problem, the fact that men outnumber women by 30 million. As such, it can be difficult to find a partner for many men, especially those in the working class who are the least likely to find wives. But, why should they be deprived of love?
Enter dating coach Hao, who operates out of the city of Chongqing and has over 3,000 clients, many of whom travel from rural areas to learn how to make a romantic connection. In The Dating Game from director Violet Du Feng, we meet three bachelors, Zhou, Li, and Wu who are about to embark on a seven-day camp to try and up their game. Wu, 27, explains why he thinks he is still single. Born in a poor, rural village he really only interacted with boys (baby girls were often abandoned on the side of the road.) Many parents were going to cities to work, leaving their kids behind to be raised by their grandparents. He laments that an entire generation, “grew up without love.”
But will going to Hao’s dating camp fix that problem? As a woman, I’m going to say hard no! Hao’s methods rely on ‘techniques’ that aim to turn his students into pick-up artists. Take the ‘push and pull’ technique which is nothing but a backhanded compliment, or how he tells the men to abruptly stop talking to the women they’re texting to see if they’re into you. Hao takes the saying ‘nice guys finish last’ to heart and he wants to turn these guys into the ‘jerks’ that they seem to think will attract women.
There’s at least one woman who finds these techniques “greasy” and that is Hao’s wife, Wen. She is also a dating coach but for women. She feels her job is to help women realize that their wants might be unrealistic. But she also believes that finding self-confidence and self-improvement are the ways to find the best match. She feels Hao has been poisoned by his own techniques. While he feels that he got Wen using these techniques, she reveals that she got together with Hao in spite of them. Can their marriage survive their fundamental differences? The fact that Feng included this story thread is a satisfying addition.
There are a lot of different aspects to Feng’s documentary, which even includes a short bit about women playing virtual dating games. Considering there is a lot more to delve into behind the reasons for people reaching out for dating assistance in the first place this felt like an unnecessary and out-of-place addition. Though, it would make for its own VERY interesting film! Yet, I wanted instead to learn more about the impact of China’s one-child policy, and how its government now even hosts match-making events in a strange attempt to bolster its now floundering population.
The Dating Game is an enjoyable watch to be sure, but beyond the stories of Wu, Zhou, Li, and the disillusioned dating coach Hao, is an entire country whose laws, urbanization and socioeconomics have driven an entire sub-population of lonely people, mostly men. Their families are desperate for them to find a partner, so much so that each week in parks parents gather to try and find matches for their grown children. All of this is much more compelling than watching the three bachelors strike out along the bustling city streets of Chongqing as they try and add girls to their WeChat. As cringingly entertaining as that is (and for this reality dating TV junkie it sadly really is), there is a more profound message to be uncovered.
The Dating Game premiered January 23rd, 2025 at the Sundance Film Festival. For U.S. audiences, it is currently available to stream until February 3rd via the festival’s website.